before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
