Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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