It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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