I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize