when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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