I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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