I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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