She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
