Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
