They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
