i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
