I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The beer is more important than you right now.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
