i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
