this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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