I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
