The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
