You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
