I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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