This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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