worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
