You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm like, not good at living.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
