I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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