she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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