Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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