Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
