I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
