Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
