About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize