One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
