I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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