THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Randomize
