My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Randomize
