Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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