our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
