god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
