idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize