Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
