Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
