Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
