He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
