just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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