Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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