fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
