I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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