I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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