I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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