handjob tips. give me some.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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