ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
