She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
