i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
