so explain again why im purple
no
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
