Christians are straight up FREAKS
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is Oprah even human
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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