turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Let's get the cat blown out
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
