please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need a beard to bite.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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