We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
