well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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