Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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