Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
